How Much Should I Spend on an Engagement Ring

Setting a price tag based on how much you love your partner might seem rather tacky. However, you are about to purchase something that will be a permanent symbol of the most important relationship of your life, so you do want to make this one of the most beautiful gifts you’ve ever presented to your special someone.

Also, even if your partner isn’t that financially motivated, you don’t want to spend an amount that might make her feel uncomfortable with comparisons or personal security. Or maybe you don’t want her dad to think you haven’t spent enough! There are lots of reasons that people like to know what others usually spend on engagement rings.

According to a survey in Autumn 2014 by Brides Magazine, the average UK spend on an engagement ring is just under £2,500. Is that really the right kind of amount to spend?

At Harriet Kelsall Bespoke Jewellery we find that most of our customers spend between £3,000-£12,000 on their bespoke engagement rings. We also make many beautiful bespoke rings for happy customers for more like £1,000 and for well over £12,000 too. So the amount that people spend can really vary. So how did they decide what is right for them?

Opinions on How Much to Spend

You’ve probably heard quite a few opinions on how much somebody should spend on their engagement ring. Some people say, “it doesn’t matter—it’s the symbol of commitment that counts,” some say “one month’s salary,” others say “two months’ salary” or “three months’ salary” or “as much as you can afford.” What with all this talk about salaries, is that supposed to be gross or net?

In February 2009, the Daily Mail’s much-quoted article suggested that somebody with marriage on their mind “should” be looking to spend between one and three months’ salary on their engagement ring. One of the reasons is that it acts as an honest gesture of commitment and loyalty to their soon-to-be partner. So pretenders need not apply.

Whilst the most commonly quoted rule of spending a traditional two months’ salary on the perfect engagement ring might work for you, it might also interest you to know that this ‘rule’ was actually first started by De Beers in an advertising campaign during the 1920s to try to get people to spend more money!

A Brief History of Engagement Rings

So talking of tradition, where does this tradition of a financial commitment in the form of a ring originate from?

The exact origins of the history of an engagement ring are unclear, but various ancient cultures had some kind of ring-wearing tradition. The Egyptians wore betrothal or wedding rings, which were worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was thought that the ‘vein of love’ ran directly to the heart. I find this slightly hard to believe because linking the heart to love is a relatively modern concept, but perhaps the Egyptians thought that a vein ran from the fourth finger of the left hand to whatever organ they linked to love at that time!

The Romans also wore betrothal rings. Originally made of iron to signify strength and permanence, these gradually began to be made of gold, often with carvings or engravings, becoming more ornate.

In 860, Pope Nicolas I decreed that a ring was required to signify betrothal or engagement and stipulated that it should be a gold ring—perhaps again linked to the financial commitment being made by the groom. Since then, the betrothal ring became a valuable ring representing commitment.

Apparently, in 1477, Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring to celebrate their engagement. This began the tradition of using a diamond ring as a betrothal ring. At the time, diamonds were much rarer and more valuable than they are today. It wasn’t until De Beers came on the scene centuries later, with large-scale diamond mining, that diamond engagement rings became accessible to many more people.

The Importance of Financial Commitment

Historically, an engagement ring is meant to represent a financial commitment to the partnership rather than just being a symbol of intent. Looking back in time, it’s clear that you were supposed to put a significant amount of money into the ring to signify you were serious about your promise of betrothal.

My own view is that you don’t necessarily have to spend a massive amount of money on an engagement ring. You don’t have to spend as much as two months’ salary if you can’t. Often, people are saving for a house deposit, have large mortgage payments, or have other financial priorities as a couple. If these priorities are important to both parts of the couple, that’s fair enough. However, I also don’t think that a proposer should hedge their bets to save for a flashy car either. I think that the purchase of an engagement ring has to (slightly) ‘hurt’ the wallet to ensure that you really mean it.

That said, this doesn’t mean that you have to spend thousands of pounds. As I mentioned earlier, we have made many bespoke engagement rings for students or people on low incomes, spending less than £500. That amount wasn’t easy for them to afford, but for them, it was enough to represent a real financial and emotional commitment.

Choosing Bespoke Over Cheap High-Street Rings

These days, you can buy low-quality engagement rings or rings made from inexpensive materials very cheaply. A while back, I was asked to comment on the radio about a high-street retailer’s £18 engagement rings. Is that enough to spend, they asked?

I’m a great believer in the symbolism behind an engagement ring, and all our designers love telling love stories through bespoke rings. However, my answer was, “No, £18 is not enough to spend.” An £18 ring doesn’t say “commitment” any more than a meal for two or a small bunch of flowers.

Even with a generous budget, you still want value for money. At Harriet Kelsall Bespoke Jewellery, we believe there’s nothing more romantic than a bespoke engagement ring, whatever your budget. Designing personal details into a unique ring shows real commitment and care.

Making the Right Choice for You

Ultimately, how much you spend on your engagement ring is a personal decision. Consider your preferences, budget, and future plans, but ensure the amount reflects a commitment without causing financial strain.

Learn more about creating a bespoke engagement ring here. Good luck popping the question!